You touch the gates and thought twice. Nah, not yet. You take a step back and another and found yourself wound up the path to the other side of the chapel. The night is young and silent, a short walk won’t hurt. You made your way, circling the chapel, passing by the statue of the Virgin of the Poor, which students barely notice. The wind blew once more, this time a wee bit stronger and your hair gets messed up again. But this time, you let out a sigh. You are back where you started and trudged in. The prayer session has started and you are very late but the congregation welcomes you anyway.
They won’t Judge you because they will understand you, because no matter what type of person you are, Christ is in you. Or so they believe. They smile to acknowledge you and bow down to continue. You sit on a space in the circle they formed and followed. A single candle was the only light in the room. It had a kind of dramatic effect to it, plus their calm faces aglow in the dark. As if on cue, instrumental music plays. Ah there it is, your chance to be melodramatic which the stars denied. “Reflect” a woman says. Everybody closes their eyes but you.
You stared in to the light of the candle, hypnotized by the single dancing flame, like a tooth about to be consumed by its flames. You are about to enter into some sort of reflective meditative state where you think of so many impossibilities and smile because you think you’re so wise, when all of a sudden you phone vibrates. You laugh a bit, remembering some inside Joke about vibrating 2 things. You wave away those thoughts and remind yourself you are in the chapel. The person beside, elbows you and you stop. “Ana mi sagas Jollied. Tanat!!! ” the text says. Oh, it’s Friday. You forgot about that. “TGIF! TGIF! TGIF! Your brain chants. You get giddy at the thought of being drunk. But you are in a prayer session, so you “reluctantly’ stand up, excuse yourself and got out, without thinking twice. Drinking spree, wee! You arrive and the table is set. Sway your body to strum of guitar strings. Tap tap tap, your feet mimicking the drums in the band. Clink, the ice in your glass says. Gulp, you down your first shot of to for the night. Your lips begin to curl; you smile, sit back and relax, “This is going to be one hell of a night”. Good thing you’ve already made arrangements with someone to where you’ll be spending the night after your session.
You hope he wasn’t kidding about his kind and gracious offer. You are still unsure as to where you will end up afterwards, but queue sera sera. Let events unfold as they come. Made it safely. You wait by Careen’s Bakeshop for him to come pick you up. He comes cruising in his shiny Monterrey. You reach his place and everything was a blur after that. Or is it? Heck you were having fun while your bodies were a tangled mess on the sheets. You were having fun as his tongue was exploring the hot, wet cavern of your mouth; tongues gliding in a graceful dance.
How you liked it when he nipped and licked your earlobe; that tingling sensation as a shudder runs down spine as a oft moan escapes your lips. You open you eyes and you can almost make out his face, smirking in the dark. This bastard. You resist at first, spiting yourself; telling yourself this wasn’t suppose to happen and all that sit. You remind yourself that you still have an estimated five hours left before your cursed 7:30 am class while he was busy showering you 3 with kisses and touching you all over. This has got to stop, but then what the heck; it has already started… Might as well finish it. Foreplay dragged on.
There are things in life that happen when you least expect them to. Most times it appends in the places, with people you least expected. You know it sounds clicheГ©, like when you say, expect the unexpected. How then does the unexpected remain unexpected when all you have ever done is expect what’s unexpected? Man it sounds crazy, isn’t it? Yeah, yeah. You say you’ve prepared for the worst that’s to come, but then these things Just come busting its way through your life. Either it leaves a fragrant scent or mud on your doorstep, it still kinds of knock you off guard. If it had a face, it’s be snickering at you.
Ha! Take that. Whatever it is, Just charge it to experience later on. Like how you don’t know how you ended up walking the deserted streets of Divisor in a sea of trash left by the night cafeГ© with a girl who you’re suddenly best friends with. She acts like she’s walking on sunshine screaming for babul, the loneness you downed kicking in gear. Or how you wound up in bed with the guy whose girlfriend is your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. It’s hard to answer why things happen the way they’re happening after all. In the end, you actually begin to come up with an understanding but you choose not to.
You do not want to understand even though you could. Many times you’ve come impossibly close to grasping thoughts, ideas, understanding them. But you chose not to, because you take comfort in the things you do not know. You want to give yourself an excuse. You are afraid to find out, even if you already know it. You are afraid to confirm. You’d rather feel nothing at all, than hurt. 4 YOU wake up feeling unusual. You search for your phone but grabbed a hand instead. You feel your surroundings and yep that happened. He’s awake too. And you both start laughing hysterically. You look at each other in the eyes, yep this was the guy.
This was the guy who Jokingly told you yesterday, to sleep over at his house, who you Jokingly replied to with a sure why not no problem; a Joke come true, indeed. This guy who told you not to trust him for your own good. This was the guy who is still in utter disbelief of everything that happened at the same time guilt-free and chill and the feeling is mutual. This was the guy who you first met at a retreat and have only known for two months now. Still unable to stop laughing you sit up and look around, only to notice the mini altar across the bed, with a picture frame of Jesus looking to the left.
You both notice it and laugh again. “Wall Asia kit, Kay as picas Asia nag-Tanat’ was his innocent explanation. “The bumps and bruises along life’s way are softened when you stop and pray. God will always listen to you, gently guiding all you do” was what’s cross- stitched on a framed picture of an angel at the top of his bed. Heck you had a hell of a wild, bumpy ride last night, and you laugh again. He says he’ll have those transferred elsewhere as he wraps you in a tight hug and you nuzzle at the crook of his neck. Out of nowhere, he touches your face and kisses you, gently and lovingly. Uh-oh, this into good.