One quote that I found only recently, yet is now of my favorite quotes to live by is, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. ” – Albert Ellis. To me this quote means that you are happiest once you realize that you are in control of your own future. If you have a problem, you have to deal with it yourself; you can’t blame it on anyone else but yourself. If you keep putting other people at fault for your own issues, you’ll never find a true resolution to the problem.
I support this quote because many experiences Vive gone through in my own life can relate to it. My first experience that I chose to support the quote deals with my favorite sport, Irish dance. After dancing for close to 10 years, I have experienced this situation many times. Irish dancing is a very competitive sport, that really takes a toll on you both physically and emotionally. I know myself and many other dancers have gotten to points where we question why we still even do the sport. We get frustrated and can’t even remember why we love dancing so much. I remember towards the end of last year I had one of these attitudes.
Regional was in November and I hadn’t done as well as I had wanted to. I really hadn’t put in enough effort and practice leading up to regional. Even though I knew deep down it was really my own fault, I made excuses for myself and blamed my failure on everything but myself. I blamed my teacher for not preparing me enough. I blamed the Judges for not Judging correctly and I blamed about everything else I could except for me. Eventually, I had come to terms that it was my own fault, nobody else’s. Once I recognized this, I lost my bad attitude and started fresh. I now was going to put in the necessary effort to rank where I wanted to be.
I realized that I was the only one who was able to make a difference in my life. If I wanted change I had to work for it, and I did. I placed higher in competitions because I was now determined to do better and I was much happier with where I was ending up. My second life experience goes a lot deeper than Just a sport. This experience had taken up my entire life. When my parents were getting divorced, everything to me seemed like the end of the world. I was unhappy for a long time and I really felt as if I was stuck in a rut that I Just couldn’t get out of. I felt helpless to what was happening and I became really angry towards life.
I felt as if I was being shorted the life that everyone else had. Nobody understood what I was going through and I wondered why it had to happen to me and not somebody else. I honestly began to not care about things I should have. My grades slipped and I was in a bad mood most of the time. If people tried to talk to me it would Just make me angrier so I alienated myself from everyone. I had so much anger that I Just blamed on other people. I blamed my parents, my family, God, I blamed my friends for not understanding me. Yet I thought if I had all these people to blame for my unhappiness I’d feel better, but the problem was still there.
One day my grandma told me, “Nobody can fix you but yourself. No one else is responsible for what’s inside of you, only you can make a difference in your life. You control your own happiness rolled my eyes and told her she was wrong, but then I really thought about it and realized she was right. If I stayed in the same attitude Just moping around then nothing would change for me. I had to realize that I really did control my own destiny and it took me awhile to really understand that. I was the only one standing in the way of what I wanted. I had to face my own issues and not put anyone else at fault.
To be happier I had to change my attitude and outlook on life and understand that I’m in control of my my own destiny. No one else can control it for me. Still to this day If I ever get stuck in a situation that makes me feel down I remember this quote. I have to face my problems as they are, and not put anyone else at fault for them. I control my future and it all starts with my attitude. Once I realized that my future and my happiness was in my unhands I was happier with myself, and hopefully according to Albert Ellis, if I keep this outlook these will be the best years of my life.